20 years later, 1996 remains one of the most poignant years of my life. So on the 20th anniversary of my Bat Mitzvah, I want to revisit what made 1996 so awesome. So don your favorite outfit from Rave, put that VHS copy of Dangerous Minds away because you are too young to be watching that, and accept the fact that no matter how many plaid skirts and fluffy pens you own, you will NEVER be Cher Horowitz...
Me, circa 1996
I was skinny, wore giant, colorful glasses and avoided brushing my hair like the plague. I showed a picture of myself at 13 to my college roommate and her response was, "Yeah, I would have beaten you up." I would like to note that even though I looked like a typical, skinny nerd I was super athletic and fast. So even if someone wanted to beat me up, they would have to catch me first.
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| Not me, but pretty close #DawnWienerForever |
The year I became a woman
I became a woman on May 11, 1996 (though put a pair of jeans and a baggy No Fear t-shirt on me, and I was indistinguishable from every boy in my class). I had been in Hebrew and Sunday school preparing for this day since Kindergarten and it was a BIG deal. I nailed my Torah and Haftorah portions...naturally. It was all very nice, but a Bar/Bat Mitzvah meant one thing to me... dancing. Specifically, slow dancing. I had been in Hebrew/Sunday school with the same group of kids since we were tiny tots and all of us became adults at some point that summer. So many parties, so many opportunities to slow dance.
There was so much slow dancing and even one random game of Spin the Bottle where I got my first kiss. That was a good night, but I have to give props to my BFF Amy for Best Bat Mitzvah Party. First of all, she had a western theme, so I got to wear cowboy boots and felt super sassy. Best of all, Amy invited her two guy friends and we both had a slow dance partner ALL NIGHT. This was heaven for a skinny tomboy like me. I didn't even care that my parents were watching me. Cue TLC's Diggin' on You.
Cher-wannabe
The '95/'96 school year was all about Clueless, which had been released the previous summer. Like every other girl on the planet, I immediately made my mom buy me a plaid skirt, cute sweater and knee-high socks. To pull the whole look together, I suggested that things would be much easier if I had my own credit card... my mom laughed in my face and bought me the soundtrack instead.
90's Goth Chic
Sure, award winning movies like Fargo and The People vs Larry Flint came out in 1996, but WHO CARES because THE CRAFT! Thanks to this movie, all subsequent sleepovers consisted of candle ceremonies and "Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board". I also sported black lipstick and nail polish every Halloween... because my gothness expanded no further than those 24 hours.
The Magnificent 7 #bangs
I was a gymnast myself when Team USA won a team gold medal for the first time in Olympic history. I was OBSESSED with these girls. This poster hung in my room, surrounded by my Beatles posters, and I would practice my back walkovers and try to improve my splits while dreaming about going to the Olympics. This gymnastics Olympic dream subsequently replaced my dream of being a Jamaican bobsledder, which I'd harbored since Cool Runnings came out in '93.
Seal's Kiss from a Rose.
OMG THIS SONG! This song has a powerful, visceral effect on me. If puberty had a theme song, this would be it. I slowed danced to this song more times than I can count. Remember Snowball dances? You would start out dancing with one person, then the DJ would smoothly croon "snowball" and you would switch to another partner. Lord help you if you turned around and no one was there to dance with you.
This song made me feel all funny and squirmy in ways I didn't understand. Honestly, it STILL makes me feel that way. To a 13 year old me, this song was "Romance" with a capital Man. Now I think about it, this really should have been the first dance song at my wedding... but I doubt my 7th grade boyfriend could have made the trip.
Speaking of my 7th grade boyfriend...
We "went out" for 4 days, during which we held hands in the halls then pretended like the other didn't exist the rest of the time. I was at my locker when his friend approached me and said, "Joey breaks up with you." I responded instantly, "nuh uh, cause I break up with him first." Later in gym class, Joey told me he liked Ashley more, but if she didn't want to be his girlfriend he would go out with me again. I was cool with that, but Ashley said yes... slut.
Boys, circa 1996
Are you sensing a theme, yet? It was all about boys for me this year. I would have loved a boyfriend, but if that meant actually brushing my hair or wearing something other than a baggy sweatshirt and stirrup leggings, it wasn't worth the effort. So, I fantasized about boys from afar.
At this time, boys all wore their hair the same way. Long and floppy and parted down the middle. It would fall into their face where they would casually flip it away. It was the precursor to Justin Bieber hair and NOBODY wore it better than Devon Sawa.
Just like Kiss from a Rose, this image makes me squirm. Seriously, isn't he the hottest thing you've ever seen!? Some girls were all about JTT (if you need to Google that, you probably don't understand any of the references in this post), but Devon was it for me. Christina Ricci kissed him in TWO MOVIES and I still have never been more jealous of anyone. I had a picture of Devon from Bop magazine hanging on my wall that I kissed so much his mouth fell apart. Note: I recommend not looking at a current image of Devon as you might start weeping.
Other boys who rocked that mid-90's floppy hair so well...
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| Leo D. |
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| Prince William |
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| That kid who played Thackery Binx in Hocus Pocus |
These are only a handful of pop culture moments that made 1996 awesome for me. When I really think deeply about what life was like in 1996, I should hate it. Being a 13 year old nerd in middle school sucks! Go watch Welcome to the Dollhouse. It's basically a documentary of life as a middle schooler in the 90s. I was Dawn Wiener, but with two major differences... I was never bullied to the extent Dawn is and I didn't give a shit about what anyone thought of me. Sure, I might have been better liked if I brushed my hair or shaved my legs, but that would take time away from playing kickball with the neighborhood kids, or replaying the final scene in Casper when Devon Sawa kisses Christina Ricci... bitch.
So, if I could say anything to my 13 year old self on the day of my Bat Mitzvah, it would be... "Mazel tov! And you'll get boobs in high school, no worries."
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