The Collapse of the Sony Atrium

The roof had just shattered and my initial reaction was relief. Registration had been such a nightmare and I had been getting screamed at for 3 hours when security announced that no one could enter the atrium.

"What happened?" I asked, adjusting the Dharma badge on my badass Purim costume.

"The glass roof shattered above the crowd, people are hurt," he answered, before running valiantly back into the atrium.

No, I thought. No, this can't be. And raising my eyes to the heavens and the sweeping rafters of the Sony building, I screamed, "SNOOKIE!!!"

She was in there. She had gone in earlier. What if she's hurt? What if she's lying on the ground, shards of glass covering her freakishly small body, cowering beneath the glittering death and hoping for anyone to help her? How could I stand here and do NOTHING when I knew Snookie needed help?

I turned to one of the volunteers working the registration desk and handed her my hand stamp. "I'm going in there," I said.

"I don't think they're letting anyone in," she replied.

Still, I whipped around and ran toward the door. "I've got to find Snookieeeeeee!"

I made it as far as the door and was stopped by one of the many security guards. Let me in, I begged him. Snookie needs me! We can't lose this woman! There aren't enough Jersey women who are as small and oddly compact as she is. I could feel the desperation boiling up in me. The sheer panic of realizing that I might only ever see Snookie again in reruns of the Jersey Shore and her E! True Hollywood Story. UNACCEPTABLE!

"Rachel!" Someone yelled from behind me. I turned to see the volunteer, running up to me with her iPhone outstretched. "She's ok!"

My head clouded. "What do you mean? How do you know, damnit?!?"

She skidded to a halt in front of me, sweat beading at her hairline. Resting her hands on her knees, her chest rising and falling at a chaotic pace, she handed the phone to me. "She just tweeted, Rachel. She's ok."

At that moment, I knew there was a god, and He is good...and loves the Jersey Shore.

“Omg roof just collapsed!’’...No finer words were ever tweeted.

I take this day with me wherever I go. You get so close to losing someone so important and everything comes into perspective... I wonder how much it is to rent a shore house.