Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Confessions of a Failed Breastfeeder

When I first started writing this blog, I started writing EVERYTHING, the entire breastfeeding timeline.  It was really really long... and boring.  I realized that this was my attempt to explain why things went bad and why I shouldn't be blamed.  Then I reminded myself that I was just here to confess, so I erased everything and just created my list.  Here are my confessions:


  • I'm afraid that breastfeeding didn't work, because I didn't keep the ideal breastfeeding diet (lots of avocado and water, apparently).
  • I feel guilty for feeling relief that I could start supplementing with formula and getting a firm grasp of just how much my baby was eating.
  • I feel like I might have damaged our Mother/Baby bonding time.
  • I didn't pump often enough and that's why I didn't make enough milk.
  • I scoffed when someone told me I should pump 10 TIMES A DAY.  Even if it would work, I wouldn't do it.
  • Mira had no trouble latching so, obviously, it's my fault.
  • I gave Mira a pacifier when she was a week old, so obviously that ruined it.
  • I was so excited when I no longer had to sleep in a bra.
  • I feel judged by every successful breastfeeding mother.
  • I feel guilty for not feeling bad when I hand my husband a bottle in the middle of the night and go back to sleep.
  • I hated pumping at work and carrying my few, pathetic drops home every night.
  • I'm frustrated that I took advice from others that I feel made it all worse.
  • I feel bad for not feeling bad when my baby shoved my breast away the last time I ever tried to breastfeed her.  Here's your bottle, baby!  Enjoy!
  • I will feel guilty if it works next time.
  • I will feel guilty if it doesn't.

The End.   ( o )( o )